Action Comics - Lightning Round Style

We started reading all 80 pages of the 50th Anniversary Issue celebrating Superman's first appearance in Action Comics earlier, but now let's finish this big issue out lightning round style.

The first story dealt with Superman teaming up with Wonder Woman to take down Darkseid, while the rest of the stories have a decidedly less cosmic flavor to them. They also help to round out Superman's supporting cast with stories focusing on Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, and Lex Luthor. Oh, and Man-Bat.

Man-Bat? I guess nothing screams "600 issues of Superman in Action Comics" like a Man-Bat story. That's the last one up however, so in the meantime let's start it up with Lois Lane.

no title given

• Plot: John Byrne
• Script: Roger Stern
• Pencils: Kurt Schaffenberger
• Inks: Jerry Ordway
• Letters: Bill Oakley
• Colors: Petra Scotese

While investigating a story on an escaped mob boss returning to Metropolis, Lois gets in over her head. She relies on a self-defense technique taught to her by whom...

• Her father, General Sam Lane
• A Las Vegas chorus girl
• Superman himself

It's best not to go with the obvious on this one, as the correct answer is the Las Vegas chorus-line girl.

No worries though, as her chorus girl kick does the trick and the mobster is soon back in police custody as Lois heads back to the Daily Planet to file her story. When she arrives, she's in for a shocker as the front page has already been taken by the love story of the century...Superman and Wonder Woman!

It seems a paper in Boston has got quite the scoop about their budding relationship, leaving the Daily Planet with a little bit of egg on it's face by being out-scooped in its own hometown. Lois takes it hard, but Clark assures her that the original story is not based on fact.

So what does our hard-nosed reporter due next?

• Wallows in self-pity while she walks home
• Heads out to get the real story about this "Super-Romance Of The Century"
• She throws herself out of the window of the Daily Planet in a bid to have Superman rescue her so she can confront him

Hopefully you're starting to sense a pattern here, as the answer is not the obvious one.

As she walks back to her apartment, she takes the long way home and bemoans her misfortune of being just a plain human. How is she supposed to win Superman's heart when she's up against Wonder Woman?

When she finally gets to her apartment, Lois is soon surprised by a knock on the door. Who comes to see her?

• Superman, holding a dozen roses, who then escorts her to the Fortress Of Solitude on an official date
• Clark Kent, who soon ditches her when an emergency arises and Superman is needed
• Lex Luthor, looking for a little rebound action booty-call

Alas, for poor Lois it was Clark. He had the best of intentions, arriving with a friendly shoulder for Lois to cry on, but when Superman is needed, sacrifices must be made.

Games People Play

• Story: John Byrne
• Pencils: Dick Giordano
• Inks: John Beatty
• Coloring: Tom Ziuko
• Lettering: Albert DeGuzman

It's another average day for Lex Luthor, power-broker of Metropolis and thorn in Superman's side. Who does he summon to his office to confront about their treatment of him?

• Jimmy Olsen, about his camera constantly flashing in his face
• Lois Lane, about her constant investigative reporting into his business activities
• Maggie Sawyer, about the constant trail that the S.C.U. have on Luthor and his people

Yeah, it would appear that the S.C.U. are getting too good at their job and are getting a little too close for Lex's liking.

Luckily for Lex, Maggie has a little secret that is ripe for the blackmailing. What is it?

• She's secretly the Alpha Centurion
• She's a lesbian
• She likes to smoke a little something else in her cigarette holder every once in a while

This was the late 80's, and unfortunately for Captain Sawyer, being a woman in her position of power could easily have been brought low if it became common knowledge that she was in fact a lesbian.

Lex calls in his secretary to add an exclamation point to his accusations, so to speak, but Maggie ain't taking the bait. At the very least, it gives Dick Giordano a chance to give us a little eye candy.

Maggie didn't get to where she was by accident however, and she calls his bluff and tells Luthor to go ahead and expose her secret as she won't be intimidated by anyone. Luthor, not used to being talked back to, does something out of frustration that ends up putting him in the Lex Corp infirmary. What was it?

• He kicks his desk, which was previously lined with lead to prevent Superman's prying eyes
• He shoves Maggie and her pointy cigarette holder hits him in the eye
• He bangs his fist on this desk, exposing the fact that the kryptonite ring he wears has been poisoning him

Yes, this is the issue where we find out that the ring the Lex wore to keep Superman at bay would soon go on to cause him all sorts of problems.

One of the biggest problems would be for us, the readers, as it would usher in the introduction of the long-haired, hipster Lex of the early 90's.

A Friend In Need

• Plot: John Byrne
• Script: Roger Stern
• Pencils: Curt Swan
• Inks: Murphy Anderson
• Letters: Albert DeGuzman
• Colors: Tom Ziuko

While investigating a story, Jimmy Olsen uses his signal watch to alert Superman of what impending disaster.

• A toxic waste spill
• A chemical fire
• A broken down truck

A trick question, as the answer is all of the above.

All of this is kids play for Superman though, and he soon has everything under control. Instead of basking in the glory of another job well done, Superman collapses and can barely speak long enough to ask for Jimmy's help.

Suspecting some sort of kryptonite poisoning, what does Jimmy do?

• Uses a forklift truck to lift Superman and drive him to some underground caves
• Uses a crane to lift Superman to the local lead smelting plant to encase him in lead
• Raids the general store for all of the Reynolds Wrap, and wraps Superman in it

Yes, the fast thinking Jimmy borrows a fork-lift truck from a local warehouse to drive Superman underground.

Luckily for Superman, the local caverns have a high lead ratio and Superman hopes that that will be enough to shield him from the kryptonite poisoning.

Now those of you up on your Superman knowledge know that at this time there was very little kryptonite around. So what's with the sudden onset of kryptonite poisoning?

• The truck that caught fire was filled with synthetic kryptonite, of which Superman caught a lungful of
• Unbeknown to Superman, Metallo was driving the tanker that caught fire
• It was radiation from the explosion of Kryptonite that finally reached the earth after traveling at the speed of light all these years

It's all about the science, as Superman has calculated that with thee distance between Krytpon and Earth, it would be just about now that the radiation would start to hit us. You think that if he would've known about it, that he would've been a little better prepared.

Oh well, whatever doesn't kill us just makes us stronger, right Superman?

Uh oh, it looks like Superman is still feeling a little under the weather.

So just who does Jimmy go to for help now? You'll just have to tune in next time to find out.

That's right, there's still one more story to go, but its late and I'm going to bed. Come back soon for "The Dark Where Madness Lies".

All characters and artwork reproduced are (c) DC Comics

The Avengers #269

TITLE: Avengers #269

PUBLISHER: Marvel Comics

COVER DATE: July 1986

COVER PRICE: $0.75

23 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

As much as I love The Avengers, I have a soft spot just as big for Kang. To me, he's the classic comic book villain with just the right touch of crazy and Machiavellian tactics that he uses in his never ending quest for power. Throw in a healthy dose of time travel, and you've pretty much created a character made just for me.

And I haven't even touched on the fantastic visuals yet. Who else but a world conquering villain could pull of a green jump suit with purple gloves and thigh high boots. It shouldn't work, but add a purple diving suit helmet and it all just comes together against all odds.

If I was to put a list together of my top ten Avengers stories of all time, I can think of at least four right off the bat that feature Kang, including my all time favorite Avengers Forever and the better than it had any right to be first story arc in Young Avengers.

This particular storyline involves Kang attempting to get rid of all of the divergent timeline Kangs that are floating around out there. And when you mess around with time travel as much as Kang, you're bound to create one or two thousand. This is the last part of this story, and like the cover promises, it's Kang versus his future self, Immortus. Will the Avengers survive this clash of time-traveling titans?

Read on...

The Once and Future Kang!

• Writer: Roger Stern
• Breakdowns: John Buscema
• Finished Art: Tom Palmer
• Letterer: Jim Novak
• Colorist: Christie Scheele
• Editor: Mark Gruenwald
• Editor-in-Chief: Jim Shooter

Now seeing as how this is the third issue of a three part story, and our heroes are trapped and at he mercy of Kang...isn't it time for some super-villain boasting and pontificating? I believe that's actually part of the union laws for would-be world conquerors.

Not one to disappoint, Kang delivers...

and delivers...

and delivers...

In the interest of brevity and keeping my audience awake, we're going to give you the cliff note's version of Kang's speech, which basically recaps his history from his origins to present day.

For those gluttons for punishment out there, click over here or here for Kang's history in all of it's unabridged glory.

For everyone else, it goes a little something like this.

Born in the peaceful and enlightened 31st century, Kang is a young man who craves the glory of battle. Finding a time machine, he heads back into Earth's distant past and sets himself up as the Pharaoh Rama-Tut where the Fantastic Four ruin his sweet gig and force him fleeing into the future where he encounters Dr. Doom in the 20th Century.

Inspired by his meeting with Doom, he travels to the war-torn and savage 41st century and uses his knowledge of technology to set himself up as Kang the Conqueror for the first time. He's soon bored however, and decides to test his mettle against Dr. Doom. Instead, upon returning to the past, he meets the Avengers for the first time.

It goes without saying that the Avengers win, but Kang would be back a couple of times. On one of those occasions, the Avengers found themselves in the 41st century as Kang works on conquering one of the last kingdoms not under his control. Through a twist of circumstance, the Avengers find themselves working with Kang after one of his lieutenant's demands the death of Ravonna, a princess of the newly defeated kingdom. The only problem is that Kang has fallen in love with her. She jumps in front of a laser blast meant for Kang, taking her life and saving his, but at the same time leaving him a broken man.

After a couple of other super-hero scrapes, Kang finds himself in Limbo where he stumbles upon the abandoned fortress of Immortus. Using his technology, he's able to snatch Ravonna from the time stream the moment before she died. Joyous though their reunion may be, Kang is unsettled as he learns that all of his machinations through time have created thousands of divergent timeline Kangs.

That pretty much brings us up to speed for this issue, as Kang has been successful in eliminating all but one of his inferior counterparts. The icing on the cake is that he has captured the Avengers as well, and he has them trapped in a stasis beam so that they may see him eliminate his last double and solidify his title as Kang the Conquerer!

Like any good superhero team, the Avengers did not just sit idly by while Kang boasted. Hercules has been busy the whole time straining against the stasis beams. He eventually weakens them just enough that Captain Marvel is able to transform to energy, which overloads the machine and sets the Avengers free.

It's game on as the two big powerhouses of this lineup, Namor and Hercules, team up to deliver one heckuva punch. Through the wall Kang goes, with the rest of the Avengers in hot pursuit.

Before we get all caught up in the heat of battle, there's still the second Kang to be dealt with. Fortunately for the Avengers, it would appear that the recently snatched from time Ravonna has her own agenda as she pulls a gun on Kang.

Torn between two Kangs, she pleads with Kang II to not go after Kang I. Her words are wasted, as Kang could never let a slight like he's suffered go unanswered. Realizing that she has lost Kang(s) forever, she turns into the arms of a mysterious figure. Another Kang, perhaps?!

Back into the heat of battle, we catch up with the Avengers trying to defeat Kang, who is holding his own against Earth's mightiest heroes quite well. Using this to his advantage, Kang II appears from the shadows and aims his blaster square at the back of Kang I.

It's all for naught, however, as Kang I tampered with his blaster before, just in case something like this came to pass. It did, and now Kang II is no more, leaving just one Kang to rule them all!

End of story, right? Let's hold the champagne in reserve for a few more seconds, as the real puppet master reveals himself.

It turns out that Immortus has been pulling Kang's strings all along, nudging and tricking him into doing Immortus' bidding without Kang ever realizing it. Now that all of the false Kang's have been eliminated, Immortus reveals that there is still one more...himself!

That's right, Immortus is Kang too. Immortus has always been a bit of a mysterious, whose side is he really on, time traveller, so it makes sense. Ravonna claims that Immortus is everything that was ever good about Kang, who is still so full of hate at this time.

Kang has heard enough however, as he lunges forward to grab the Psyche-Globe from Immortus's grasp, which he claims holds all of he memories and knowledge from every version of Kang that has ever existed. Kang will have that power, but in the classic case of be careful what you wish for, it's all too much and an insane Kang goes running from Immortus' fortress into the blank expanse of limbo.

Successful in his quest to eliminate the thousands of Kangs, Immortus resolves to reclaim his role as ruler of Limbo. The Avengers are still unwilling to let the murder of a thousand Kangs go unanswered, but Immortus is beyond such moral trivialities when the balance of all reality is at stake.

With the wave of a hand, the Avengers are sent back to the 20th Century, leaving Immortus alone with Ravonna, his one true love.

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

By all rights, this issue shouldn't have been as enjoyable as it was.

Over half of the issue was devoted to flashbacks of previous stories. Those flashbacks deal with nothing less than time travel and divergent realities. Throw in multiple versions of one time travelling character and you have the recipe for a confusing mess.

Like Kang's costume, however, it defies the odds and works. The first half is admittedly a little slow, but given how the recap of Kang's origin takes us on a whirlwind tour of some of the best of Marvel continuity, I gave it a pass. It doesn't hurt either, as we have the immensely talented John Buscema and Tom Palmer supplying the visuals. Their take on the Avengers, as well as the flashback guest stars of Dr. Doom and The Fanstastic Four, are pitch perfect. For me, when I think of the Avengers, it's Buscema and Palmer's versions that instantly pop to mind. Luckily for us, they gave us 45 issues of Avengers glory to feast upon.

By the time Immortus reveals himself, the action takes hold and Roger Stern manages to tie everything together perfectly, giving us some great Kang on Kang action in the process.

I know I've probably said this before, but re-reading this issue really make me miss the fact that the old Avengers have been m.i.a. for so long. With the heroic age right around the corner, I'm hopeful that we'll get back to a little bit of that same spirit that made the old 70's and 80's issues so much damn fun. It would appear that the relaunch of The Avengers is going to have Kang back front and center, so that's definitely a step in the right direction.

All characters are artwork reproduced are (c) Marvel Comics

Related links for your surfing pleasure...

• Stern Talks! The Unofficial Roger Stern Message Board
• John Buscema's official website

The X-Men vs. The Avengers #2

TITLE: The X-Men vs. The Avengers #2

PUBLISHER: Marvel

COVER DATE: May 1987

COVER PRICE: $1.50

23 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

So here's a deep mystery. It's the spring of 1987. I'd been reading comics for a couple of years, and as I've mentioned ad nauseam already, I was a big time Avengers fan. I was also about a year into my decades long X-Men obsession.

So why, pray tell, do I only have the first two issues of this 4 issue mini-series?

Like I said...a mystery for the ages, but let's try to break it down anyway.

Was it the creative team? I don't think so, as this is written by Roger Stern. He was the only ongoing Avengers writer I knew up to his point, as his run predated my first issues. It's drawn by Marc Silvestri, and while he was not a bankable name just yet, he still drew a nice looking comic.

Was it the X-Men? I don't think it was their fault either. This team has far too much good going for it than bad. Between mohawk Storm, brown and yellow Wolverine, pre-Gambit Rogue, reformed Magneto, and Havok's hypnotic costume...I couldn't be happier. Well I suppose I could if Nightcrawler and Kitty were still around, but I already talked about their absence over here.

Was it the Avengers? We actually may be on to something here, as the Avengers were in a bit of decline at this point. This period in time is when Stern is nearing the end of his run, leading to Walter Simonson's ill-fated team. While we have Cap and She-Hulk (who always brightens up whatever team she's on), we also have armored Thor and Dr. Druid. Yikes! Captain Marvel and Black Knight round out the team, and while they're both great c-listers, they need more than just other c-listers to interact with to make the team interesting.

I suppose all that's left to do now is to read the actual book and find out.

Uneasy Allies

• Writer: Roger Stern
• Penciler: Marc Silvestri
• Inker: Josef Rubinstein
• Letterer: Joe Rosen
• Colorist: Christie Scheele
• Editors: Mark Gruenwald & Ann Nocenti
• Editor in Chief: Jim Shooter

Thank god for pre-90's comics, as the first page gives me everything I need to get me up to speed on what happened in the first issue. Long story short...Magneto's old base of operations, the recently destroyed Asteroid M, is crashing back to earth. Magneto is wanted for crimes related to his sinking a Russian sub in his pre-reformed days, so the international community sets a trap to catch him as he tries to salvage his old base from falling into the wrong hands.


We enter the story in the middle of a classic Mexican standoff, with Magneto in the middle. The Avengers want to bring Magneto in for a fair trial, the X-Men are backing up one of their own, and the Soviet Super-Soldiers want Magneto in Russian custody.

Needless to say, a brawl ensues.

That's right Ororo, somehow this character made the cut.

The X-Men prove more wily than their foes, and make off with Magneto in tow. Dazzler absorbs all of the ambient jungle noise and blinds everyone by turning it into a burst of brilliant light, covering their escape.

They did seem to forget, however, that one of the Avengers can transform herself into pure light. That's a little like trying to stop Aquaman by summoning a tsunami.

Captain Marvel gets more than her fair share of ridicule, but I for one dig her signature flying formation. It's practically oozing with condescention.

She continues to keep tabs on the X-Men, while the Avengers take the time to put the Soviet Super-Soldiers in their place.

Meanwhile, Magneto isn't making any headway into getting the X-Men to trust him more as he rushes off alone to salvage Asteroid M.

Once there, Magneto finds some intact memory chips and circuits...oh yeah, and his old bucket helmet. Trust me on this one Magneto, putting that old helmet on is not really going to help any of the three teams trying to catch you to trust you.

But put it on he does, right in time for the Avengers to come upon him. Of course, the Avengers fear that he's up to no good and don't realize that he's actually trying to stop his old technology from falling into the wrong hands. They barely have a chance to take him down before the X-Men are once again on the scene.

We now get a true X-Men vs. Avengers fight without those pesky Russians.

Blade versus blade, as Wolverine takes on the Black Knight.

Brawn versus brawn, as She-Hulk takes on the Rogue.

The battle appears to be a draw, when the explosives that Magneto lined the asteroid with go off. Magneto proves he's actually one of the good guys by protecting both teams from the full front of the blast. Granted, he knows which side his bread is buttered on as the Avengers are all left unconscious from the explosion while the X-Men make their escape in the Blackbird.

Proving that I've been too hard on him, Dr. Druid is the only Avenger to come out on top, as he stows away on the escaping blackbird jet while mentally masking his presence from the X-Men.

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

I'm no closer now, after having read this issue, to realizing why I never bothered to pick up the rest of this mini-series. I rather enjoyed this issue. So much so, that I'm going to have to go back-issue hunting for the last two parts.

It wasn't good like Watchmen is good, this was more like a rediscovery of a lost tale from a period of X-Men history that makes me happy. It's like one of those hyped-up DVD extras that is actually entertaining! The art by Marc Silvestri makes it seem even more so, as he would start pencilling his vaunted Uncanny X-Men shortly after this series wrapped.

This is another one of those type of books that make doing this blog so much fun. The fact that the Randomizer has chosen it hot on the heels of the big X-men/Avengers crossover that just recently wrapped with the resurgence of Asteroid M is just icing on the cake.

I look forward to seeing what the Randomizer has in store for me next.

All characters and artwork reproduced are (c) Marvel Comics.

Related links for your surfing pleasure...

• Jason over at Marvel Comics of the 80's just did a pretty thorough 4-part look at this series. If you're hungry for more, go here and enjoy.

Superman...starring in Action Comics Weekly #614

We now come to part four of our review of Action Comics Weekly #614, so if you missed any of the three previous parts click here, here, or here.

As I mentioned previously, when ACW started up, Superman was essentially sidelined to showcase other heroes. He still appeared in every issue, however, in the form of a two-page serial that ran from week to week. It was written by Roger Stern and drawn by Curt Swan, so it does have a great pedigree. Does it hold up? Let's find out...

Death Comes Calling...

• Writer: Roger Stern
• Penciller: Curt Swan
• Inker: Murphy Anderson
• Letterer: Bill Oakley
• Colorist: Tom Ziuko
• Editor: Mike Carlin

The story opens up with Superman flying to California. It would seem that there is a cult out there that worships Superman as a god.

I know what you're saying...crazy cults on the west coast...big whoop!

The only problem is that by worshiping Superman, the cultists are gaining bizarre powers. One of those cultists, Bob Galt, appealed to Superman for help. While in Metropolis, another cultist tried to kill Bob before he could warn Superman. He failed, however, and blew himself up before Superman could question him.

That's not the end of the story though, as someone who matches the would be assassins description has been admitted to a hospital in California with multiple burns.

Superman arrives at the hospital to question the assassin, but it stopped by Nurse Ratched.

Join us next week as Superman battles the health insurance companies in "Public Option...Public Death"

She soon cracks under Superman's super-charisma and tells him the room number. Using his x-ray vision, he sees that the cultists have sent yet another member to finish the job. They are nothing if not maticulous.

Ignoring Nurse Ratched's strict orders for no visitors, Superman barges into the room to stop the never ending chain of assassins.

Will he stop him in time?

Will the cult send yet another member to kill the member who failed to kill the member that originally failed to kill the first member?

You'll have to pick up the next issue to fine out, but the safe money bet is on the latter!

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

This Superman serial was the only story that I previously read from this run of Action Comics Weekly. Being the Superman fan that I am, I read those first and dutifully ignored the rest under the stress of keeping up with current continuity comics.

Overall, this serial was a little on the silly side. It would turn out that the cultists base was in a location that was flooded by weird radiation, thus giving them powers. An evil corporation was also involved, trying to capitalize on the radiation. Superman and Clark Kent end up getting to the bottom of things and stopping the corporation only to find the true mastermind behind it all.

And who is that nefarious genius? It was Darkseid!?

That would've been cool and all, but it took 'em thirty-some issues to get to this point, and within the next two issues Darkseid up and leaves, and the serial ends.

Oh well, it was only a two-page weekly serial. I guess when you're dealing with those, the wackier the better. I just wish that we would've seen some more Curt Swan art with snazzier visuals than a bunch of brainwashed people in civilian clothes and evil CEO's in suits.

Next up...Catwoman!

All characters and artwork reproduced are (c) DC Comics

Related links for your surfing pleasure...

• The unoffical Roger Stern messageboard