Showing posts with label Garth Ennis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Garth Ennis. Show all posts

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Fun with google searches and Judge Dredd too!

It's been a while since I took a look at some of the keywords that are used by readers to google into my site. It's quickly turned into one of the favorite aspects of my job here at the Random Longbox, so let's see what seemingly random and nonsensical searches brought you here.

Let's get the porn out of the way first.
  • "barbarian books" topless
  • "bare midriff"
  • erotic stories superman emasculated cock kent
The first one I can understand, since I actually did review a Conan book. I'll even understand the second, since it's possible that I may have mentioned the phrase "bare midriff" once or twice in referencing someone's costume.

That last one though, I don't know. I've said it before that I'm a Superman fan, but I don't know that I want to read (much less ever haven written about) erotic stories featuring him. I'm also trying to figure out if that's a Freudian slip with his name, or was someone looking for a porn movie parody?

And while we're on the subject, this one sounds bad but I'm too scared to punch it into my address bar...
  • beat my box.com
This next one needs to be a real villain, if he's not already.
  • baron von anagram
Maybe for Encyclopedia Brown?

Finally, we got a couple comic book related ones that have me stumped.
  • batgirl conveyer belt furnace
  • robin conveyer belt furnace
Is there some small subsection of fan-fiction specializing in industrial material handling and recycling? Although, now that I think of it, with supervillains being as sadistically overly complicated as can be, any good death trap worth it's salt needs to have a conveyor belt feeding into a red hot furnace.

So let's get the next random book picked, in hopes that it'll lead to more keyword blog content in the future. Take it away Randomizer...

...and that book is Judge Dredd #16 from February 1985, published by Eagle Comics!

So it only took nine months for the Randomizer to finally pick a Judge Dredd book. This was one of the first books that I ever picked up that wasn't published by Marvel or DC. It's also one of those titles that I keep telling myself that I'm going to go back and reread, but never get around too.

The first two years of this title were filled with some truly outrageous stuff that I definitely wasn't getting in the mainstream stuff. Thankfully now, we have Garth Ennis to fill that niche. That makes me wonder if Garth Ennis has ever written a Judge Dredd story? It seems like an obvious fit to me, but maybe it's too obvious. He very well could've, as I haven't read a Judge Dredd book in probably 20 years.

So yeah, there wasn't a bad story in the first twentysome issues of this title. I'm not sure exactly how they reprinted the stories from their original publication in England, but I'm assuming they picked the best of the best first. It shows, and I'm looking forward to cracking one of these open again. See you in a day or two for the review.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Hitman/Lobo: That Stupid Bastich! #1


TITLE: Hitman/Lobo: That Stupid Bastich! #1

PUBLISHER: DC

COVER DATE: September 2000

COVER PRICE: $3.95

38 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

This issue got picked at just about the perfect time, as it wasn't that long ago that the Randomizer picked another issue of Hitman to review. While reading that book, it made me realize just how much I miss this title. I've been trying to think of a book I read currently that scratches this particular itch, and I don't think there is one.

Power Girl has the goofy "let's not take this superhero thing too seriously" vibe that Hitman had in spades, but with none of the over the top violence and sarcasm.

Jonah Hex has the man's man attitude and code of honor that Tommy Monaghan lives by, but none of the "wink-wink" coyness about it.

Criminal has the main characters with less than ideal morals getting involved in situations that rarely leave the protagonist unscathed, but never do you finish an issue and still feel a fondness for them.

So if you want some new Hitman, just shove Power Girl, Jonah Hex, and Criminal in a meat grinder...and out will come Hitman. Or you could always raid the longbox for an issue like this one, that I completely forgot existed.

That Stupid Bastich
  • Writer: Garth Ennis
  • Artist: Doug Mahnke
  • Letterer: Ken Lopez
  • Colorist: Carla Feeny
  • Separator: Jamison
  • Assistant Editor: L.A. Williams
  • Editor: Peter Tomasi
  • A special thanks to Pat Gleason
A quick hat tip is in order to the current creators of the Green Lantern titles, as three quarters of them are listed in the credits for this issue.

I'm also going to shake things up a little bit, and give the quick one sentence/elevator speech recap of this issue, and that's going to be pretty much it as far as the actual review portion of this review is concerned. I mean, seriously, this is Lobo we're talking about...one sentence is probably one sentence too long. But for formalities sake, let's get it written down.

Lobo chases Hitman across Gotham City after getting punked by Hitman for causing a ruckus at Noonan's Bar.

Now, let's revel in the glory of this issue as we start a new feature at the Random Longbox with the 1st Annual Ultra-Violence and Funny Business Awards!


Most disgusting use of bodily fluids

The first category up is a perennial favorite, and as always, there's a bunch of strong contenders. Let's take a look at the nominees.
  • Sean Noonan spiking Lobo's beer with a booger behind his back
  • Flemgem hawking a loogie in Lobo's face
  • Sixpack urinating in the gas tank of Lobo's motorcycle
...and the winner is?


While not the most original of pranks, Doug Mahnke draws it with style. Whether it's the earnestness with which Sean finds just the right booger, or Lobo's complete and utter obliviousness, or Hitman's cool demeanor...it all boils down to a wicked funny set of panels.

Best Catchphrase

  • "Doctor Bo recommends an intravenous dose o' frag!!" -Lobo
  • "Jean de Baton!" -Jean de Baton
  • "Hawcchtt" - Flemgem
Lobo has to be the odds on favorite, after all he did coin his own swear word. Let's see what the judges thought.

Jean de Baton comes out of nowhere to take the award that nobody thought Lobo would be denied. What an upset, but I guess when you're only bit of dialogue is your name and catchphrase, we should have seen this one coming. Let's listen in to his acceptance speech.

"Jean de Baton!

Jean de Baton!

Jean de Baton-Baton!"

Beautiful...I couldn't have said it better myself! While I wipe away my tears, let's get to the next category.

Worst Catchphrase

  • "Doctor Bo recommends an intravenous dose o' frag!!" -Lobo
  • "Jean de Baton!" -Jean de Baton
  • "Hawcchtt" -Flemgem
And the award goes to...

Yeah, "intravenous" doesn't necessarily roll of the tongue, does it? I guess it must get tough after a while to think of new ways to use the word "frag". Who knew Lobo was so book smart, throwing around four syllable words in the middle of an insult?

So Lobo nabs his first award of the night, but I'm not gonna be the one to tell him what it's for. I think it's best we move on to the next category.

Most over-the-top or funniest attack used against Lobo

Uh-oh...good thing he can regrow himself from just a single drop of blood.

  • Getting his eyes shot out at point blank range by Hitman
  • Having his brains blown out by a mob sniper
  • Getting "married" to Bueno Excellente while passed out
And the winner is...

Who knew Gotham City was so progressive and liberal that this sort of marriage between an illegal alien and a man fighting crime with the power of perversion was legal, eh? More power to 'em, but I'm not going to tell Lobo that he won this award either. Best let sleeping dogs lie.

Best One-Liner

You know with Garth Ennis involved, there were at least a couple.

  • "'Scuse me, Miss Lobo?" -Hitman, while trying to get Lobo's attention
  • "This whole city's a glutton fer punishment." -Lobo, after get shot in the face for the umpteenth time
  • "An' the question is 'who had a hit with Love Is Bland (Don't Step On My Hair) in 1988?" -Hitman, playing Trivial Pursuit with his girlfriend
And the winner is...

Leave it to Hitman to find the perfect four words to set the last Czarnian off on an issue long rampage.

And for those of you keeping score at home...in the DCU, Bon Jovi was at the top of charts in 1988 with that particular song.

Most Underused Superpower

  • X-Ray Vision, Hitman
  • Dog welding, The Dogwelder
  • Defenestration, The Defenstrator
And the winner is...

The Dogwelder, and Wizard Magazine's "Character of the Year - 1997" comes back out of retirement for another award!

Ooops! I've just been informed by the judges that I mis-read the card. This award is for "Most Underexplained Superpower".

What does the power of dogwelding entail? Like the award says, it's best you don't ask.

I've also just been informed that we're running long, so it's time for the most anticipated award of the night.

Best Single Panel

Will it be violent? Will it be funny? Will it poke fun at a particular social norm? Will it be all three? Let's take a look at the nominees.

Here's Lobo doing what he does best, while trying to catch Hitman in the streets of Gotham.

That look says it all, even with no eyes!

I think this panel was printed with testosterone ink.

And the winner is...

The staredown between Hitman and Lobo!

It's all right there in that one panel. Lobo knows that he's been defeated, but he has to try one last act of intimidation. Tommy's not having any of it, and the tiniest hint of smugness in his smirk is just about perfect. There was never any doubt that he would get the better of Lobo, and he's ready to do it all again if he had to.

With that, we bring the 2010 Ultra-Violence and Funny Business Awards to a close. See you next year!

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

Nothing that we didn't already know...namely that Hitman is sorely missed. There's really nothing more that needs to be said.

In fact, I'm just going to stop right now and reread this issue again...and you should too!

All characters and artwork reproduced are (c) DC Comics

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Comic Book Review: Hitman #47


TITLE: Hitman #47

PUBLISHER: DC

COVER DATE: March 2000

COVER PRICE: $2.50

22 pages


WHAT I REMEMBER...

Garth Ennis is another creator that I've followed a lot over the years. I may not always stay with his series, but they're usually worth checking out anyways.

The first title that I remember reading from him was Hellblazer. I was never that into the character before his run started, and I forget just why I decided to pick it up. His and Will Simpson's run ended up being something really special. I stayed with the title after Ennis moved on, followed by Warren Ellis and then Brian Azzarello, but neither of them were able to top what Ennis had done and I soon moved on.

About halfway through his Hellblazer run, he started to write The Demon. I'd never really been a big fan of that character either, but it was Ennis so it couldn't be that bad. This title was my first exposure to the work of John McCrea, but The Demon wasn't my thing. Luckily for me, I did stick around long enough to pick up the Bloodlines Annual that introduced the character of Tommy Monaghan, the Hitman.

It only took 2 1/2 years, but DC followed that up with a Hitman title that was 60 issues of pure-madcap violence and dark humor, firmly set in the DC Universe. After sitting down and re-reading this title, it made me realize just how much I miss it. I know they say that you can't go home again, but I almost wish Ennis would give it a shot.

Ennis gets a bad rap that he hates super-heroes, but I don't really think about it like that. I think that he has fun at their expense, but I don't know if I'd say he hates them. Or at least at this point in his career it didn't seem that way. I only read the first half a dozen issues of The Boys, and I've heard it's only gotten more outrageous and over-the-top since I dropped it.

Well enough of my yakking, let's read this thing...

The Old Dog

  • Writer: Garth Ennis
  • Penciller: John McCrea
  • Inker: Garry Leach
  • Letterer: Patricia Prentice
  • Colorist: Carla Feeny
  • Separator: Heroic Age
  • Assistant Editor: L.A. Williams
  • Editor: Peter Tomasi

What we have in this issue, is essentially two separate stories happening that don't appear to have too much in common right off the bat. There is a reason for it though, that becomes clearer as this three part storyline continues.

This issue opens up with Sean Noonan telling a story from his youth. Sean is the father figure for Tommy Monaghan, as well as the owner of the bar where they all hang out. It's in this bar that Sean relates the story of how he ran away from home and ended up in World War II London, all when he was only seven years old.


Escaping the abuse of a drunken father, Sean jumps aboard a lifeboat to sleep and wakes up at sea on the armed merchant cruiser, H.M.S. Jervis Bay.
Aboard this ship, he comes under the guardianship of a sailor by the name of Carey. He is charged to look after Sean until they get to London, as the captain doesn't want anything to do with him.

They spend a week at sea, as Sean lives every young boys wish for adventure on the high seas. It's only when the dream becomes reality, does Sean realize the trouble he's actually in.

A ship is spotted on the horizon, which is at first mistaken for a friendly battleship. It's soon clear, however, that what is coming toward them is the German battleship Admiral Scheer. Clocking in at over ten thousand tons and massive gun ports, she's more than the little Jervis Bay can handle.


The captain then does something that happens quite a bit in Garth Ennis books...he does his job. Even when the odds are stacked way against him, he sucks it up and charges forward to carry out the responsibilities that were handed to him. Ennis definitely likes his characters that are too stubborn to know when they are in over their head. It's an admirable trait, as Ennis writes it, and I find myself drawn to characters that would otherwise be jackasses at best.


Carey throws the young Sean into a lifeboat as the Jervis Bay is getting pounded and splintered apart. The captain dies trying to redirect his guns toward the Admiral Scheer. Panicking, Sean asks if anyone has seen Carey. An injured sailor points back to the Jervis Bay, with Carey now up on the gun turret firing away as the ship sinks into the ocean.

Back at the bar, Sean explains that he spent the next five years in a British orphanage until the war was over. When he did make it back to the states, he took his Louisville slugger and broke every bone in his dad's body. As he put it, "He never bothered me an' Ma again."


Tommy volunteers to get another round of drinks, but Sean won't hear of it. In a small bit of foreshadowing of what's to come, he walks away saying there's "Life inna old dog yet."

The book then shifts to a lavish mansion on the outskirts of Gotham. There, a young Italian heiress is overjoyed at the arrival of her uncle. It seems Isabella is to be married, and she has summoned Uncle Benito to do her a favor on her wedding day.

We find out that her Grandpa was "Men's Room" Louie Feretti, and that she wrongly believes that Tommy is responsible for his death.It's a long story, but it's a good one. If you have the chance to read "Who Dares Wins" from issues #24-28 I recommend it.

Uncle Benito is surprised to find out that Tommy Monaghan still breaths, as Isabella has one small request for her wedding present...the death of Hitman.

Back in Gotham, Tommy and his pal Natt are leaving the bar when they run into Tommy's ex-girlfriend, Tiegel. Tommy calls out to her, but she is obviously not quite as happy about their chance encounter as he is. She kicks him in the groin and continues on her way.


Natt, ever the true friend, is more than sympathetic to Tommy's current predicament.

Three days later, Tommy tries again and actually manages to get Tiegel to listen to him as he tries to apologize for cheating on her.


Somehow I don't think that's going to be quite the apology she was expecting. As they continue arguing, Tommy is surprised from behind as Uncle Benito steps up and plunges a knife into his back. To be continued...

SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN...

As I mentioned before, we re-learned just what a great little comic book this was. It played to Garth Ennis' strengths, and let him write a character that had the whole of the DC Universe to play off of, while at the same time letting him write his story without having to tie into the massive continuity of it all.

Garth Ennis has sort of carved out a little niche for himself within the war story genre. In fact, I think he's the only one writing war stories on a consistant basis these days. You can tell the obvious affection that he holds the genre in, as he would sneak them into his other work on a semi-regular basis. There's at least two war stories in Hitman, as well as one in Preacher. I don't remember any from his Hellblazer run, but it wouldn't surprise me.

This story arc is all about the relationships of father's and their children, and the responsibilities that come along with it. It's a theme that works well with Ennis' characters and plot lines. I remember this being one of my favorite arcs, but it's heartbreaking as it ends with the death of a major character, but it's well told and definitely worth the effort.

All in all, this book hasn't missed a beat in the past nine years. It's not dated in the slightest, and still reads just as good now as it did then. If there's anybody out there who has a Garth Ennis book or two, but has never picked up an issue of Hitman, you owe it to yourself to sample a couple of issues as this is some of Garth Ennis at his best. Take a chance on any issue you can find, as I don't remember there being a stinker in the entire 60 issue run. Hell, even the DC 1,000,000 tie-in was entertaining.

All characters and artwork reproduced are (C) DC Comics.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

You know it's Garth Ennis when...

I'm almost done with the review for Hitman #47, but in the meantime...

Here's item #7 from the Top Ten list of "Ways to know you're reading a comic written by Garth Ennis".

#7 - You have a character like this running around the periphery of an otherwise serious story.